HOUSE MOVING THERAPY
Have you ever found yourself in a Big Mess from moving house? From losing a home or being unable to own one? From losing your bearings within yourself and the world? What was the mess made of? Things? MORE THINGS? Thoughts? Memories? Emotions? Death? Money matters? Relationship in tatters? If you are facing the chaos of a house move, declutter, or even a soul search with no need to move; if they feel overwhelming, scary, heart-breaking, this-is-me-and-my-life-disintegrating, read on. Or, rather, tear a leaf after leaf, peel a layer after layer of your relationship to the things you’ll find around you. This book is about our relationship to possessions, the loss of home and the search for one's true home, and how to use the physical chaos of a house move to sort through some of the inner psychological chaos. It is based on the author’s experience of 21 house moves (or 40, depending on how you count). It is psychological-philosophical yet practical. It is passionate, raw and non-prescriptive but also forensically analytic. It will leave you feeling freer, lighter, braver, less swayed by musts and shoulds and other persons’ home-related truths, and more at Home, wherever you are. It doesn’t matter if you are moving house or remain where you live until your dying day. The house moving is optional in finding your True Home. YOU making a move, again and again, is not. Ready? Steady? Read:
Intro
LIFE ON THE FLOOR
The book starts here: Have you had your life crash and spill all over the floor, fragments leaking dark red blood and thick black terror, a small puddle for a start but spreading, spreading, SPREADING?
Ch 1
WHAT MAKES HOUSE MOVING DIFFICULT (1):
An explosion of decisions, or how the possessions of a 2-bedroom flat can take up the seats of 46 Boeings
Ch 2
WHAT MAKES HOUSE MOVING DIFFICULT (2):
‘Microprojects’ on roots to uproot, harm to reverse, good to attempt and bullets to bite
Ch 3
WHAT MAKES HOUSE MOVING DIFFICULT (3):
Subversive emotions, but rarely the ones you feared
Ch 4
WHAT MAKES HOUSE MOVING DIFFICULT (4):
Defaults that are fat slices of our philosophy of life
Ch 5
HOW TO MAKE IT EASIER?
Two things to do that don’t need you to lift a finger
Ch 6
THRESHOLDS OF PAIN
Ch 7
PARALLEL CLEANING
II
ON-YOUR-BACK THINGS
Ch 8
“When in doubt, wear red”
On clothes, the fear of truly shining, and 11 other types of psychological chaos
Ch 9
“Shoes shouldn't hurt”
On shoes, lessons we were confident we have really
learnt yet continue to repeat, and 9 other types of psychological chaos
Ch 10
“I sing the body electric”
On sports equipment, harmful inner conversations, and 10 other types of psychological chaos
III
HOUSE-BOUND AND ROOM-BOUND THINGS
Ch 11
Tie yourself to a table. If tables are few, wall colour will do
On furniture, moments when our connection to a place (or a thing, or a person) snaps, and 7 other types of psychological chaos
Ch 12
House decoration and painted-over soul cracks
On decoration and art, and traumas from our childhood homes that mark us for life
Ch 13
Liaisons dangereuses
On bedding, towels and other 'huggables', and on the self-defeating association between a physical and an emotional home
Ch 14
Hunger games
On food, cooking and eating utensils, and almost any form of psychological chaos you can imagine, including 15 dysfunctional 'eating personality' types
IV
BOUNDARY-CROSSING THINGS
Ch 15
Your amazing technicolour dreamhouse and the taken-for-granted
On electrics and electronics, the unglamorous essential ingredient of success and happiness they jeopardise, and 5 other types of psychological chaos
Ch 16
Do It Yourself. Nevermore
On DIY equipment, culturally inherited beliefs about what it means to be a true man or woman, and 3 other types of psychological chaos
Ch 17
You are not just a number
On paperwork and the glorious visions we have (had) for our lives v. the lacklustre of the everyday
Ch 18
Home in a bottle of face wash
On cosmetics, guilty pleasures and blindingly obvious things that took you decades to see
Ch 19
The books of life
On books and lives that need saving
Ch 20
The dark bronze envelope
On sentimental items and myths of letting go
V
FINAL THINGS
Ch 21
Boxing it
On boxes, suitcases and bags, and the tinge of dissatisfaction at endings that aren’t a perfect closure
Ch 22
What makes a true home